It sucks to be Chrono the Sinner
by Lord Cynic
Summary: Beware, course language. Starting to become a collection of oneshots with one focus: the horrible things Rosette could do to the unfortunate Chrono. Not even a powerful demon can survive her wrath...
1. My nose is not a turkey sandwich!

**Lord Cynic: **"Yes, at last, this is the last one you'll see for maybe 2 weeks, give or take. It's my first real story, and a whoppin' 7000 words at that. Still, not as long as others that I've rated fantastically. It does contain some swearing, so I apologise for that. However, if you catch the drift of the title and the summary, you'll learn a valuable lesson if you didn't already know it.

I actually had a lot of help writing this. Well, in terms of accuracy in the CC world. Oh, and typos, too. So, for the first time, I've had beta readers before submitting this. Yay.

Of course, the real test is all of you out there. Um… be gentle."

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**Lord Cynic:** "Chrono Crusade doesn't belong to me. But I think I'm scared of turkey sandwiches now…"

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_**My nose is not a turkey sandwich!**_

"Interrupt my beauty sleep by biting me, will you? I'll make you sorry for ever mistaking me for your breakfast!"

"Oh no! Rosette, c'mon, I didn't mean to! It was an accident, you gotta believe me!"

It was one of the oddest sights to ever witness in 1928. That is, of course, unless you had knowledge of the people involved in said sight. In that case, it was everyday behaviour. In fact, a young blonde, blue-eyed nun dragging a violet-haired, crimson-eyed demon boy by the ear was the norm in the Magdalene Order. People skilled enough to watch without getting caught often had discreet bets whenever they saw the girl dragging the boy. What did they bet on? The severity of Chrono's punishment.

However, this would be a day for first. No, Rosette was still going to exact her revenge on her victim. Instead, it would concern her revenge, so to speak. It would be something diabolical, something sinister, something... completely of a whole new Rosette Christopher calibre. This time, poor Chrono would not be able to live out the rest of the day, let alone the morning, without the biggest shame possible. Not after Rosette was done with him.

Yes, at that moment, it sucked to be Chrono the "Sinner".

A cookie if you can spot the irony there.

"It was an accident, was it?" Rosette hissed, Chrono's ear still in tow. "How can biting someone be an accident?"

"I was dreaming about eating a turkey sandwich, that's all," the demon boy pleaded, wincing as the sister's grip tightened sharply. "Ahhh!"

"How - the - hell," Chrono's tormentor yelled ironically (the 'hell' bit) and incredulously, "could your subconscious mind register my nose as a piece of meat between bread!"

"Ow! Ow! I don't know! I don't know!" Chrono cried, yelping with every painful tug of his ear. "How could I tell? I was asleep!"

"And I was having a very nice dream!" Rosette screeched, sending several startled birds from their trees. "My nose won't be the same for weeks!"

Her outrage was attracting bemused and bewildered stares from onlookers. She glared at them all, her nose throbbing. She had all the signs of that time when Sisters Mary, Anna and Claire teased her about destroying "a block, a building, an island".

"Even so much as raise a snigger," she growled, "and with God as my witness, I will not be responsible for my actions!"

People clasped their hands to their mouths to suppress overwhelming giggles. However, it was all in vain, and a vein in Rosette's temple throbbed dangerously (that is so messed up). Rosette trembled with rage, consequently releasing her death grip on Chrono. The demon boy rubbed his sore ear irritably, thankful for the new targets of his contractor's fury.

'She's more dangerous than any of Aion's followers,' he thought, watching the seething Rosette storming after those who dared to catch her eye. Suddenly, an obvious thought sprang to mind. 'Oh wait, I can make my escape!'

His plan of action set, he took a quick glance around, and sweatdropped lightly when he spotted the angry blonde exorcist stalking after three very familiar faces, which were screaming in fear. However, since that gave him the opportunity to escape, he took the chance. As he ran across the opposite end of the convent, however, his yellow ribbon fell out of his hair onto the grass.

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"Ah, that felt good!" Rosette sighed happily, dusting her hands. Behind her, the victims of her wrath cried in despair after being tied to the clock... Don't ask. Just consider the extreme possibility that an enraged Rosette is capable of anything and everything. Oh, just be glad it's not you, okay?

Said sister stretched her arms above her head. 'You heard what I told them, right, God?' she asked mentally to the Lord. 'If they make one noise, they suffer dire consequences. That was part of the deal.' She suddenly held her head high. "No one can defy the great Sister Rosette Christopher! Hahahahahaha!"

She placed her hands on her hips and continued to cackle as her fellow sisters continued to plead for release. (**A.N. -** _"For some reason, she reminds me of Leena from Zoids: New Century, at the end of the third episode. Disturbing."_) She wore a maniacal grin on her face as she stared at the aftermath of her wrath, unleashed on those in her path. The rats in her trap yelled and screamed louder, until an evil eye from their assailant caused their silences.

"Yes," she whispered, her voice rising with every word, "every now knows not to make me angry!" (**A.N. -** _"This time, imagine, if you will, Yukino Miyazawa chasing Tsubasa Shibahime in Kare Kano. Scary."_)

"Is that so?" asked a calm, masculine voice behind her.

"Who the heck," Rosette began, her eyes furrowing. She turned around, only for her face to meet with Minister Remington's chest. "O-Oh, Minister Remington!" she gasped, her voice muffled.

"I'm glad you know my name," the priest said casually. "However, I am sure my chest also knows your face well enough, now."

Rosette blushed, back stepped and laughed nervously.

"Oh, well, you see," she stammered, "I didn't know you were behind me, that's all. I'm surprised to see you here."

"It shows." However, his voice contained no trace of irritation or sarcasm. "Sister Rosette," he asked suddenly, "why are three of your fellow sisters screaming atop our clock?"

"Well, they are... they are..." Rosette's brain racked for ideas. Suddenly, "They're praying out to our Lord!"

"While being tied to our clock?" Remington asked, suspicion evident in his voice.

"Well, of course," Rosette said, thinking fast. "I heard them say they wanted to be closer to God. I thought why not be physically closer, as well as spiritually closer? Hahahahaha... hahaha... ha." 'This is also payback for thinking I destroyed a whole island, you hags,' a malicious voice in her head muttered.

Remington eyed her strangely, and opened his mouth to reply. However, the priest was interrupted when the head nun, Sister Kate, rushed towards them. She looked extremely disgruntled as she approached Rosette and Remington. For some reason, the former didn't like the look her boss was giving her.

"There you are!" she gasped as she came to a stop before Rosette and Remington. "You have some explaining to do."

"Oh, well, you see," Rosette stammered, sweating slightly. 'Oh crap,' she thought desperately. 'She heard those blabbermouths screaming bloody murder. I really don't have time for another lecture about something that wasn't my fault.'

"I hope you have something to say," Sister Kate demanded, narrowing her eyes.

"It wasn't my fault, I swear!" Rosette blurted out suddenly. "They made me do it!"

"Do what?" Sister Kate enquired, pushing her glasses up slightly. "I was merely asking Minister Remington whatever possessed him to withdraw live ammunition from the storage silos and give them to the Elder." She turned to the priest. "You didn't think I would notice?"

"Oh, I knew you would," Remington replied. Sister Kate's left eye twitched behind her glasses. "However, he requested for some items to make a new invention. He told me he'd be able to present it to us very soon."

"The ammunition was missing since three days ago," Sister Kate said, her left eye twitching again. "I only just found out 15 minutes ago. Why would the Elder take this long?"

"Because, my dear Sister Kate, I need some time-off to do some sight seeing," an elderly voice said from nearby. "Oh ho! Perfect view! A perfect view!"

"Eeek! Get away from us, old man!" shrieked Anna from atop the clock.

"Elder! What do you think you're doing?" Sister Kate asked furiously.

"Just admiring the scenery," Elder explained, his eyes twinkling. "Ah, such a - OWW!"

"Your job is not to ogle at our sisters!" Sister Kate screeched, reeling back her arm to deliver another devastating blow. It was quite a shock for someone like her to exhibit physical violence, and many people were scared. "And how did Sisters Claire, Anna and Mary wind up tied to the clock anyhow?"

"Sister Kate, help us!" yelled Mary from atop the clock.

"Shh, shut up!" Rosette whispered hastily to the distressed sisters.

"Sister Rosette, what is the meaning of this?" Sister Kate demanded, turning her attentions to the guilty exorcist. "Did you tie these poor girls up to the clock?"

"They were asking for it!" Rosette retorted. "They laughed at my poor nose!"

"What's wrong with it?" Sister Kate asked curiously. "It looks fine to me."

"What?" Rosette pressed against her nose, and found it to be throbbing no more. "But... just a minute ago..." 'Damn that Chrono. First he bites me, then he makes people mock me, then he makes me sound like an idiot in front of everyone.'

"Sister Rosette!" the Elder cried, popping up right in front of her. "I have a surprise for you!"

"GAAAH!" Rosette cried, nearly falling over backwards. "Don't do that! And don't do that either!"

"Oh, but Sister Rosette, think of this as payment," the Elder replied, trying to lift up Rosette's habit. Lord knows why he isn't already being beaten to a pul -

**BAM**

"PERVERT!" Rosette shrieked, drowning out every sound in the courtyard. She unleashed total hell on the old man for his insolence.

'She's more dangerous than any demon,' Sister Kate and Minister Remington thought at the same time. 'I wonder who faces more danger, she or Chrono.'

"Don't," Rosette breathed, finally finished on beating up the master inventor of the Magdalene Order, "ever-touch-my-clothes-again!"

"Well then," Elder gasped, his body crumpled on the ground. "I'm not sure I should entrust you with my new invention for Chrono." He took out a cardboard box from his coat.

"Hmm?" Rosette's interest was attracted. "What new invention?"

"It's just something I made to help him protect himself against fellow demons. However..."

"I'll take it to him! Give it to me!" Rosette demanded suddenly.

"I don't think I can trust it in your hands," Elder said slowly. "It might get crushed while you're walking."

"I am not clumsy!" Rosette growled.

"No, but you're dangerous when you're angry. Maybe I'd best give it to someone not so ill-tempered," Elder explained, holding his box close to him.

"You will not!" Rosette shrieked, and she literally ripped the box out of the Elder's grip. "I will find Chrono and give this to him! Good day Elder, Minister Remington, Sister Kate."

Before anyone could object, she stomped away with the cardboard box under her arm. In tandem, the Elder and Sister Kate removed, polished, and then replaced their glasses onto their faces.

"Even if he is a demon, I feel sympathy for Chrono sometimes," Sister Kate said. "I wonder why he made the contract with her."

"It's something only they can share between each other," Elder said calmly. "What I do know is, I hope my poor baby will be safe in Rosette's possession."

Sister Kate sighed in exasperation, then looked around.

"Where is Minister Remington?" she asked.

"Oh, he told me he was going to find a ladder to help the girls out," Elder explained.

"I'm still astounded that Rosette was able to tie all up three of them and hang them on the clock like ornaments to begin with," Sister Kate commented incredulously.

"I'm getting cold!" sulked one of the unfortunate sisters atop the clock.

"This is no time to complain about a draft, Mary!"

"I hope we'll be the only ones subjected to Rosette's wrath."

"Yeah, me too," chorused the other two hostages.

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Somewhere in a quiet area of the courtyard, a silver-haired girl was sitting by herself, admiring the trees. Her eyes were docile and calm, but contained an immense brightness and energy much like her idol and saviour. However, it was obvious by her appearance that the 12-year old girl possessed none of the fury and touchy temperament of Sister Rosette Christopher.

Instead, Azmaria Hendric, the Apostle, had a singing voice like an angel. It was no wonder, therefore, that she was a star of the Order's choir. However, at that moment her only audience were the flora around her. She didn't mind, though, she liked the peace and quiet.

Cue Chrono sprinting past, his eyes wide and wary and his now unruly hair flapping wildly and without its usual yellow ribbon. However, when Azmaria blinked, he seemed to be gone again. Figuring that she was just imagining things, the young girl returned to her private singing - only to see Chrono backtrack and stop before her. She watched him curiously as his nervous crimson eyes darted left and right before approaching her.

"Hey, Azmaria," he began, his voice low and almost hushed, "you haven't seen Rosette around here, have you?"

"Oh, no, I haven't," Azmaria replied, confused. "Why?"

"Oh, no reason," Chrono said quickly, before laughing awkwardly, in the Apostle's opinion. "Thanks, Azmaria."

"N-No problem," Azmaria stammered. However, her words drifted into the wind as Chrono dashed off again.

She watched him vanish, and then stood up. Her eyes shined with the maintained curiosity, but were now brightened with resolve.

'I wonder why he was asking about Rosette?' she mused. 'It seemed as if he was hiding from her for some reason. Maybe I can her about this, I'm sure she won't mind.'

Her mind made up, she left her quiet spot and wandered into the main area of the courtyard. She had no idea what state Rosette would be in when she found her.

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"I wonder what's inside this box," Rosette thought out loud, as she carried said box under her arm. "Why would Elder make something for him, but not for me? It's not fair!"

Suddenly, an evil glint sparkled in her eye and her mouth curved into a malicious smile. She held the box out in front of her in all its brown, cardboard beauty. Whatever it was, she was going to find out then and there.

"I'm sure the Elder and Chrono won't mind if I take a peek," she said as she began to ease the lid open. However, before she could see through the opening she made, the lid snapped shut - on her hand. "OWWW!"

Rosette flailed in frustration as she attempted to release her hand from the box's evil grip. Once again she was a main attraction in the otherwise sedated Magdalene Order, as passers-by stared at the ironic sight. She could blow apart demons without a sweat, but when it came to a booby-trapped box, she was helpless.

Even so, she could still throw killer glares at those ignorant enough to stand around and watch. If looks could kill, there'd be at least four dead nuns right now. Unfortunately (for her), she didn't possess that ability, and instead had to be content with ripping her hand from the box's grip while mentally cursing anyone and everyone.

When she was free at last, she reeled around to deliver eight kinds of Rosette hell on those who persisted to stay. Well, she would have, if anyone had stayed. As soon as she was out of her predicament, it seemed, everyone had vanished from sight. Pfft, she only wanted to pound a few heads together, that's all. Is that too much to ask?

It was then that she noticed a note attached to the box. Frowning, she started to read it aloud.

"Rosette, I knew you'd try to open this box before giving it to Chrono. Therefore, I took the liberty of making sure it cannot be opened by anyone but him. I hope you understand. Oh, and be sure to bandage up your hand afterwards. Yours sincerely (and with eyes everywhere... heh heh), Elder."

Rosette stared at it for a few seconds, then started to fume. In less than 30 seconds, all the grass within a 5-mile radius had been scorched by her literally fiery rage.

"That damn Elder! I'll kill him!"

She stomped along the concrete path, until she found a (miraculously unscathed) yellow ribbon sitting under a tree (also miraculously unscathed). She gazed at it dumbly, trying to register where she'd seen it again. Gee, when you've braided the ribbon owner's hair for 4 years, you'd expect to know whom it belongs to, don't you? Once again, Rosette defied the laws of physics... or common sense... or something. Logic, that's it.

As a result, it took her a good few seconds (or minutes) until she remembered whose it was.

"Chrono was here!" she declared, as bodies around the Order face faulted. A memory lightbulb suddenly clicked on in her mind. "Oh yeah! I still have some personal business to attend to. Chrono, as long as my name is Rosette Christopher, you will pay for what you did to my poor nose!"

Her mind made up, she resumed her previous search for her contractee. However, she had something up her sleeve, which involved the phrase, "Killing two birds with one stone." Mind you, she could probably do that any day of the week.

So she did. Poor doves.

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Chrono kept up his marathon running. Damn, how big was the Magdalene Order?...

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Azmaria ran through the convent, desperate to find Rosette. She still had a lot of questions in her mind, and since Chrono was in too much of a rush to answer them, she'd have to turn to the other factor in the equation. However, from the reactions she got from the demon boy, she was unsure of whether or not she wanted to even ask. Rosette was definitely kind and caring, but she was scary, really scary.

Speaking of which, she encountered the huffing nun (for argument's sake, let's say Azmaria's not a nun yet) through the corridors of the convent. As Azmaria feared, Rosette was not in the best of moods. However, there was a manic sparkle in the blonde's eyes that made the silver-haired girl's curiosity too much to bear. Plus, the box tucked under Rosette's arm looked mighty suspicious.

"Rosette," she piped up, making the older girl stop in her tracks, "what are you doing?"

"I'm going to make Chrono's day literally a living hell," Rosette muttered, oblivious to what she was actually saying. "I'm going to find him and make him squeal like a pig. And with this as bait," she indicated the box under her arm, "I'll make sure he can't escape me."

"What... what did he do?" Azmaria asked timidly, not sure whether she actually really wanted to know.

"He mistook my nose for a meal, that's what!" Rosette hissed, bearing down on Azmaria. The younger girl cowered under the older girl's expression. She had never seen Rosette like that before, but was very sure that she didn't like it.

However, she didn't want to probe the blonde further.

"O-Okay," she said nervously. "I... I'm going to see Sister Kate."

She started when Rosette's face warped from manic to serene. The sudden alteration in the latter's expression mightn't have freaked out those used to it, but it certainly unnerved Azmaria.

"Okay then," Rosette said calmly. "I think I saw her walk into the tea room. She looked disgruntled about something, I don't know why."

Her eyebrows furrowed, but only briefly, before she stiffened. Suddenly, her psychotic expression returned, causing a belittled Azmaria to back step nervously.

"I smell Chrono! Ah hah, you're mine now, demon boy!"

In less than a blink, Rosette resumed her rampage towards a certain area of the courtyard. Azmaria stared after her, bewildered, before she noticed something bobbing in a pocket of the habit of the retreating blonde. She suddenly remembered her plans, and, slapping an enthusiastic expression on her face, she scampered into the building, towards the tearoom.

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Chrono finally came to a stop on the outskirts of the convent. He was exhausted from running for so long, and he still had no idea whether Rosette was following him or not. He really didn't want to face her at that moment, for obvious reasons. He just had to hope that she would eventually forget.

His pointy ears perked up for the oddest reason - there was no sound at all where he was. Normally, you'd expect him to be glad for this, but this time it wasn't so. Why, you may ask? Well, if Chrono knew Rosette, then no matter where he was, she'd find a way to track him down. It had nothing to do with their contract, either. It was a part of Rosette's senses that was able to detect the demon boy without fail. It scared him sometimes.

With that in mind, he was dumbfounded that she hadn't stalked him to his current location, wherever it was. He perked up his ears more in a desperate attempt to listen for any movement, but strangely, there was none. His eyes furrowed at the failed attempt, and he slowly crept out from behind his bushes to look around.

He made contact with the emptiness of his surrounding area. The deafening silence hit him like a hammer (or one of Rosette's noogies), and he felt an uncomfortable shiver along his spine. It was unsettling, but thankfully, it wasn't Aion's aura. It was just... something he couldn't place...

Suddenly, his eyes detected a strange cardboard box lying right out in the open. It was brown and tacky, and completely conspicuous in its lush green surroundings. Its lid also seemed to be placed lopsidedly on top, as if jammed on hurriedly by someone in a rush. But why was it there? How did it get there? And how come Chrono hadn't seen it until just then?

However, some unavoidable force was driving him towards it. It was as if the box was calling out to him. 'Come to me, Chrono,' it seemed to be saying. 'Come to me. You know you want to.'

And, indeed he did. The doubtful part of his brain told him it might be a trap, but the childish aspect was egging him on. To the psychology nuts reading this, think of the id (childish part) overpowering the superego (doubtful part) to take control of the ego (Chrono's conscience).

In any case, Chrono proceeded cautiously to the box. However, at the same time, a face was peering out from behind some bushes, smiling maliciously. The bright blue eyes of the face were gleaming with delight as they watched the demon boy take the bait.

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"That's it, Chrono," Rosette whispered, watching her contractee as he edged closer to the bait.

She had no luck opening the box herself, but she figured she could use it to lure Chrono into the open. Of course, it turned out to be successful so far. She just hoped his sensitive ears didn't detect her presence.

"Closer, Chrono, closer," Rosette egged him discreetly. "Soon, not only will I know what's in the box, but you'll also be facing your worst nightmare."

She waited impatiently as Chrono continued to inspect the box from every corner. Sometimes, she thought irritably, he can be a bit too cautious. Finally, though, he tentatively removed the lid to discover… another box. Rosette nearly face faulted, but she kept her composure to stare at the slightly smaller cuboid. It was bronze and sleek, much unlike the drab structure it had been contained in. From her perspective, Rosette could faintly make out words etched onto its cover. She watched as Chrono read the words, and became suspicious when a smile of delight discovered its way onto his formerly apprehensive face.

'Okay,' she thought, 'just what the heck did Elder for Chrono to be so happy?'

Her answer came instantly in the form of a strange-looking gun, uniform in shape to her own Colts, but of a totally different colour. Chrono's weapon was of a chrome violet, possibly to match his hair, and much shinier than her own guns. In short, it looked like Chrono was getting the goods, instead of her.

Her left eye twitching, she continued to watch as Chrono rotated his new toy in awe, his face brightening with glee. For a second, Rosette considered that her plans for revenge would be too cruel for poor, "sweet," "innocent" Chrono. The only thing he'd really done was biting her on the nose, assumingly sleep-walking. He would never have done that on purpose. Besides, he looked sorta... cute, with his eyes shining and his mouth wide in a childish grin. He reminded her of her, four years prior, when she and Joshua had first discovered the then-dormant demon. That memory stuck out like a sore thumb in her mind, of course it did. However, there was a sudden jolt in her stomach whenever she thought of it, seeing Chrono so despondent and critical in that grave. Why, she had no idea.

Her somewhat pleasant and complaisant thoughts were disrupted when Chrono unfolded a note contained in the box and read it aloud. What he was about to read, however, would shatter any hope of Rosette being lenient about her revenge.

"Chrono," the demon boy recited, "I've taken the liberty of developing this new gun for you. I call it the Holy Hellraiser. It's a great name, I know, but wait 'til you hear what it does. Before I developed this, I remembered once, while being beaten savagely by your partner (Rosette fumed in the bushes) that your hands had been bandaged. It took me a while to realise why, and a few days ago, that's when it hit me. It was holy water, right? ("Great guess, genius," grumbled Rosette.) Anyway, that got me thinking. What perfect weapon to use against a demon than holy water? It was a stroke of complete genius, and hopefully you'll find it very handy. Attached is a magazine full of holy water ammunition. Oh, by the way, don't let Rosette find out about this. Knowing her, she'll want one too. I shudder to think she might accidentally shoot in the wrong direction and scald you with the stuff, eh? Speaking of which, I think she's still looking for you. ("Damn right," the blonde muttered.) Yours sincerely, Elder."

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Chrono read the last line again, and gulped nervously. Folding up the note and stuffing it inside his coat, he glanced around. Strangely, there seemed to be nothing in sight. He became greatly perplexed and worried, until his eyes rested once more on the gun in his hand His expression of anxiety quickly turned into appreciation as he gazed at the new exterminator of his fellow demons.

"These will come in really handy," he said admirably. "I wish Rosette could see them, even though I'm hiding from her. I reckon she'd be really grateful to the Elder, for once."

"Oh, Chrono," came a familiar singsong voice from where.

Immediately, the demon boy's body stiffened as if hit by a time freeze spell. In fact, he found his whole body completely unable to move. Well, except for his head, which tilted very gradually around to find the source of the voice. His crimson eyes soon became locked with the blue eyes of the destroyer of blocks, buildings and islands herself, Sister Rosette Christopher. Her expression appeared to be sweet-tempered and tolerant, but Chrono knew that under her bubbly exterior, she was really pissed. And he knew he was the cause.

"Oh, um, hello, Rosette," he said awkwardly. "Fancy seeing you here... ehehe..."

"So, you think I'm ungrateful?" his contractor asked, stepping out of the bushes. She walked towards him as he retreated. "What's wrong? I'm not going to hurt you."

"Yes, you are," Chrono mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Rosette came to a stop, smiling at Chrono in a way he didn't want to find out. "Aren't you pleased to see me?"

"Of... of course I am," Chrono stammered. "But, why do you have that look on your face?"

"What look?" Rosette blinked pseudo-innocently, tilting her head. "Do I look strange to you?"

"A little," Chrono mumbled, but remembered that Rosette could probably hear him. "No, no, you don't. So, what did you need me for?"

"Oh, just this." Rosette withdrew Chrono's ribbon from inside her habit. "I saw it on the grass a while ago. I was looking for you so that I could give it back."

'Is she for real?' Chrono thought exasperatedly. 'Is this a whole new side to Rosette I've never witnessed before? No, no, of course not. This is usually her face when she wants something.'

"Shall I braid your hair?" Rosette asked, out of the blue. Chrono stared at her bewilderedly, causing her to laugh. "Oh, come on, don't look at me like that. I said I'm not going to hurt you. I realise that what you did in this morning was an accident like you said. There'd be no way you'd bite me unless you wanted to die."

'Gee, she's so optimistic,' Chrono thought, again exasperatedly. "No, of course I wouldn't," he said aloud, so that he didn't make Rosette suspicious. "You know me well enough to know that, and I know you well enough to never try it without running the risk of severe injury."

"That's right!" Rosette said brightly. She suddenly took Chrono by the wrist. "Come on, I'm gonna braid your hair. It's been a while, anyway, and it's probably a wreck."

'Thanks for the vote of confidence,' Chrono thought exasperatedly for the third time in three minutes. However, he allowed the eerily urbane girl to lead him Lord knows where. He did enjoy the warmth she provided whenever they made contact, even if it was under the strangest of circumstances. 'Maybe, just maybe,' a hopeful thought ran through his mind, 'she'll let me off the hook today.'

* * *

Rosette dragged Chrono forcefully towards the Elder's house. However, as they approached it, the pleasant smile on her face was disturbingly replaced with a look of malice. 

'I won't let him go without his due punishment,' she thought viciously. 'I've tricked him into thinking I'm forgiven him, but he's sadly mistaken if he thinks that's really the case. Ah, sometimes I wonder why God gave me these valuable powers of deception. I'm truly blessed.'

She transferred Chrono's ribbon from her other hand to her habit, somehow. However, before her hand left her nun clothing, it brushed something that made her grin evilly.

'Oh yes, my revenge will be as sweet as a complete arsenal of demon ass-kicking weapons,' she thought satisfactorily. 'Chrono, you'll rue the day you mistook my precious nose for a snack.'

**

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Eventually, the contractor-demon team arrived at the Magdalene Order's inventor's quarters. When they reached the door, Chrono gave Rosette a fleeting glance of anxiety, which she returned with a toothy grin. Something fluttered uncomfortably in the demon boy's stomach when he looked at her, but it went ignored as he was led into the house.

Once inside, Rosette scampered to Chrono's bed. Upon reaching it, she bounced heavily onto it, causing it to sag dangerously. Chrono hoped it wouldn't collapse under her unruliness, since that would mean he might have to sleep in the courtyard. It was damn uncomfortable on that stiff bench, too. Not that he should be complaining - at least he was allowed to stay. He owed Rosette that much, at the very least.

Speaking of which, she'd finally ceased her horsing around, and was beckoning him to her. With a hefty sigh of resignation, he complied obediently, sitting with a thud in front of her like old times. Except, obviously there were no springs or trees, just bland, ugly walls. Sorry, Elder, but last time anyone checked, your decoration skills didn't quite match up to your inventing skills.

In any case, Rosette proceeded to straighten out Chrono's hair like she used to. It had been a while since she'd done this sort of thing, but it didn't take long to get back into the groove. The demon boy got comfortable as his contractor used a brush she found on the floor (for Lord knows what reason) to smooth out the knots and stray ends of his long, violet hair. He was completely convinced that he'd been saved from hot holy water, and began to settle back into the side of the bed.

His eyes drooped slightly, and after a few seconds, he fell asleep.

**

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**

As Chrono drifted to sleep, Rosette felt the increased weight of his body as he leaned back into her. She stopped the braiding and shook him gently, but there was no response except for his quiet snores. He wasn't as heavy a sleeper as Rosette, but he wasn't a light sleeper either. This was perfect for the blonde, but she figured she'd better finish braiding the demon boy's hair first. She wasn't the type to start something then stop halfway through. Hell no.

With that in mind, she tied the yellow ribbon to the end of Chrono's hair. She slid backwards along the bed to admire her handiwork, and watched as Chrono's body fell back against the bed (he'd been leaning on her legs prior). He looked so sweet, so innocent the way he was. It was a drastic contrast with his true form: a vicious, full-fledged demon, capable of blowing apart anything and everything in site. It was strange how he could tear apart buildings and fellow demons one minute, and be a victim of Rosette's regular wrath the next. Chrono the Sinner one moment, Chrono the Frustration Pillow the next.

A soft sound of something landing on the bed awoke Rosette from her second dose of heavy musing for the day. She looked around for the source of her awakening, and found an object that caused her mouth to curve into a cunning smile. She gently took the object in her hand, so as not to wake Chrono, and then scooted back to her previous position, the same one when she was braiding his hair.

She took his newly braided hair in her hand and let it seep through her fingers. It was soft, tame almost, like him in a sense. She almost regretted the thought of going through what she was about to. Note the almost. She couldn't forget what he'd done to her, accident or not.

With that in mind, she let her hand wander along his long, constricted hair. It reached a point where she was certain her revenge would be most effective. Her mouth curved into a satisfied smirk as she held a clump of Chrono's hair gently in her hand. She snaked her other hand around on the bed until it clasped the object she'd been carrying all day. She brought the object out in front of her, and her eyes sparkled with a manic vengeance.

"Sorry, dear Chrono, but this is for your own good."

**

* * *

**

Chrono's eyes snapped open when he heard a sudden noise and felt sharp movement on his hair. He tilted forward in shock, causing a startled Rosette to fall into him and bang a foreign object into the back of his hand. He yelped in pain as his face hit the floor with appropriate force.

"Oww!" came his muffled cry. "What was that for?"

"Oh, you were drifting off," Rosette said, straightening up quickly. "I'm done now. See? Told ya you had nothing to worry about."

"That's a relief," came another muffled comment from the demon boy. "But did you have to hit me so hard? And what was it you whacked me with, anyway?"

"My hand, what else?" Rosette remarked matter-of-factly (or so she wanted Chrono to think). However, she scrambled her foreign object into a pocket of her habit, as well as something else. "Chrono, are you gonna kiss the floor all day?"

She received a confused grumble as her reply, but nonetheless, Chrono lifted himself off of the floor. As he scrambled to a sitting position by the bed, he cast a doubtful look at his contractor. She caught his gaze and returned it with a smile, which seemed to satisfy him. However, he couldn't shake off the feeling that she was hiding something. In the back of his mind, though, he wasn't sure he wanted to find out what it was.

Rosette seemed to read his uncertain thoughts, and slapped a hand on his shoulder in reassurance. She used a tad too much force, however, and almost knocked him back onto the floor. Fortunately, he was able to regain his balance, although if he could, he would've sworn that he felt a teeny bit lighter than usual.

"Hey, Chrono," Rosette began, breaking his thoughts, "have you ever been in Elder's lab by yourself?"

"Well, no," Chrono answered tentatively. He stared at the blonde girl suspiciously. "Why? What are you thinking?"

"Oh, nothing," Rosette said slowly. She turned her gaze to a wall for a few seconds, ostensibly admiring its... blandness. Suddenly, she glanced back at Chrono impishly. "So, you wanna?"

"Huh!"

"You wanna? No one's gonna know."

Chrono shook his head, desperate to escape as much trouble as possible. However, Rosette then proceeded to give him a puppy dog expression. (**A.N. -** _"I am so remembering the first episode right now, when Rosette's trying to get Elder to give him the Gospel. At least he's not around this time."_) He immediately shut his eyes and looked in a different direction. Wait, that didn't sound right. He tilted his head in another direction, that's it. Rosette wouldn't be denied getting her way, though. Not when it came to Chrono, hell no. So, she leaned closer, determined to break through his defences and make him cave in to her "charm".

For her efforts, however, she received an accidental head butt. Her close proximity had unsettled and embarrassed Chrono (one wonders why), so he had tried to swerve his head around to face her defiantly. It hadn't work, obviously, and the aforementioned heavy contact had almost knocked both of them unconscious. They regained their senses, fortunately, but only after their eyes swam for several moments.

Rosette was the first to recover, and she irritably whacked Chrono across the back of his head, causing his world to start spinning again.

"Don't do that, you nearly cracked my head open!" she scolded. She didn't even wait for a discombobulated reply before deciding that they'd be checking out Elder's lab behind his back anyway.

Chrono stared at her incredulously, but she was already striding briskly into the basement. Rather than leave her alone to destroy Elder's lab like so many other things and places before it, he scurried after her. Even so, he'd have to think a disaster was inevitable, even if he wasn't present.

How right he was.

Elder must have had a new mirror delivered to his lab. Lord knows where from, although that doesn't mean I do, either. All that matters is he has one, for some odd reason. And as soon as Rosette and Chrono descended into the basement, it was the first thing they so.

And as soon as Chrono looked at himself...

**

* * *

**

"Not to worry, girls, I'll get you down... eventually."

It had taken a while, but Remington finally found a ladder that was high enough to reach the clock and its hostages. He didn't know why the Order had one that tall, but then they probably didn't know either. Still, he decided to take the luck as it came. At least now, he could rescue the girls and stop people snickering as they walked past. He would have hoped that those people would be grateful they weren't stuck up there instead.

Of course, they probably wouldn't learn, anyway. Of course not. Where would Rosette's fun be in that? Oh, right, Chrono. Never mind.

Nonetheless, Anna, Claire and Mary still had to be rescued. Fellow sisters of the Order were one thing, but if visitors came by, there'd be literally be hell to pay.

"I'm... nearly... there," Remington grunted, climbing the ladder as fast as possible. 'I still can't believe Rosette got them up here by herself. What else is she capable of?'

"Thank goodness," Anna sighed. "Now, Mary won't have to deafen our ears with her screaming for help."

The blonde nun blushed and grew silent at her fellow sister's comment. However, as soon as she was silenced, a different scream rang through the courtyard. The sheer volume of it had enough force to rip through the rope binding the girls. As a result, they were finally free at last.

The laws of gravity took effect.

It was quite a comic sight, especially when in slow motion, or played back for kicks. The trio of sisters fell onto the surprised Remington, and their combined weight (not to mention shock) caused the ladder under them to collapse. As the ladder gave way, they fell painfully to the ground from Lord knows how high up. Unfortunately for the priest, he was the landing pad for the girls, and was consequently flattened.

Somewhere in the tangled mess of bodies, Mary's voice could be heard faintly.

"Oh dear, that sounded like Chrono. I wonder what happened to him, he sounded in pain."

"Rosette, that's what," came Anna's disgruntled reply. "Now, would you be so kind as to get your foot out of my ear!"

"Um, girls?" Remington asked tentatively. "I think you're crushing me to death."

However, the sisters' bickering only left him to suffer in ignorance.

**

* * *

**

During the same time period as Remington's haphazard rescue mission, Sister Kate and Azmaria were drinking tea in the tearoom and conversing. However, the head nun's lips were pursed tightly as Azmaria took up the majority of talking.

"I think what Rosette and Chrono have is wonderful," the silver-haired girl said animatedly. "They may get into trouble a lot, but if you look past their misfortunes (Sister Kate's brows raised in disbelief) I think they're very good in their work. And the bond they share with each other is lovely. I wish I had something like that."

"You want to have a bond with a demon?" Sister Kate asked, unable to keep silent any longer. Either that or let the young Apostle catch her breath.

Azmaria blushed and clutched her teacup tightly. "Well, not exactly. I mean, I'd want a bond with someone who would look out for me and protect me. He would be someone I could trust and could rely on. Besides," her eyes shined with pensiveness, "I don't think Rosette sees Chrono as a horrible demon. I don't know her as long as everyone else here do, but I don't think she's like that. If she really did think of Chrono like that, I'm not sure he'd still be here."

"I guess," Sister Kate sighed resignedly. She raised her cup to take another sip. "Although, I'd have to agree that he did intend to do us harm, she would've blown him to pieces by now."

Azmaria laughed nervously as Sister Kate sipped her tea calmly. Suddenly, an anguished scream caused the latter to drop her favourite cup in shock. Azmaria gasped and rushed out to get a cloth to clean up the mess. However, due to her haste, she didn't notice Sister Kate's expression seethe in fury, which only Rosette could challenge. In fact, her whole body was trembling in rage, and she screamed a name so loudly that Azmaria fell and crushed her own cup upon return.

"CHRONO!"

Yes, that day, it indeed sucked to be Chrono the Sinner.

_**THE END (or is it?)**_

**

* * *

**

**Lord Cynic: **"A half truth there. My friend also thought of a possible sequel to this. Ideas aren't ironed out yet, but we've got the basic plot. I think I got writer's block after writing this, though. Crud. Actually, I think I actually had some subtle romance in there too. Argh, can't get over my habits! BAKA!

Oh, and I apologise if there's OOCness in there. I'm sure there must be... but if you find any, please try not to be too critical. I mean every word that I typed."


	2. Privacy is a bitch in nun's clothing

**Lord Cynic:** "Well, it's not a sequel in the true sense. However, this concept came to me at 7am at school, and I couldn't rid myself of it. You'll have to read it to see, but it won't be long. In fact, it's quite miniscule for my averages. I don't think I can ever write a 5000+ chapter ever again...

Oh, just for the record, this'll turn into an odd collection of one-shots with one subject. If you didn't get the subject from the title and the summary, you should get it from this. I damn hope you will, or Lord help you."

**

* * *

**

**Lord Cynic:** "I don't own Chrono Crusade. There, that's easy."

**

* * *

**

**_Privacy is a bitch in nun's clothing_**

All was relatively quiet in the Magdalene Order. A few nuns chatted and giggled as they walked along the courtyard, and random explosions were audible from the Elder's lab. Nonetheless, it was definitely peaceful. Not a soul wasn't content, not a leaf out of place, not a breeze too harsh.

Alas, peace can only last so long in the Los Angeles branch of the Magdalene Corporation.

**

* * *

**

A young, pointy-eared, violet-haired boy crept along the corridors of the convent, careful to avoid attracting attention. His conspicuous appearance among the females was enough to be a distraction, but since he was also a demon, everyone was just a teeny bit suspicious of his motives for being in the Order. They were still uneasy about his true nature, and the moral values of a demon being in such a holy place was ludicrous. In fact, the head nun was totally against such an idea, but the demon boy's only female confidante was also his saviour. Sister Rosette Christopher was stubborn to the core, and not even the wizened Sister Kate could stand in her way when she wanted something. As a result, although he took residence in the Elder's less-than-appealing shack, Chrono the Sinner was accepted into the Order.

Speaking of which, he was heading towards his confidante's quarters, determined to awake her for the coming day. Granted, it was an exasperated request from his number 1 critic, but he planned to do so anyway. He wouldn't live it down if he let his contractor, the ever-fiery Sister Rosette, waste a whole day in bed. There just wasn't enough time for that. Not since...

Chrono shook his head. No, it wasn't appropriate to think about things like that. He had only one mission: Awake the sleeping beast and avoid its terrible wrath. It was an accurate description of his contractor, in his mind. She wasn't exactly a graceful sleeper. At times, she snored louder than any demon could roar. Not that he would tell her that - there wouldn't need enough astral energy in the universe to resurrect him afterwards.

Chrono gulped as he continued to walk through the halls, listening to the faint snoring of the blonde exorcist. He sweatdropped as he began to contemplate whether her snores were really summoning calls for some sort of otherworldly freaky creature dissimilar to his own kind.

_Nonsense,_ he managed to convince himself. _I'd tear them to shreds if they got within 10 feet of her, regardless of their intentions._

The indirect possessiveness exhibited in his thoughts caused him to blush in embarrassment, which provoked giggles from passing sisters. However, the somewhat prominent pink tinge in his cheeks somehow went unnoticed by the same people. Strange, that, especially considering the bright sunlight pouring through the windows.

He eventually shook his head of his thoughts and continued on his way. The only 'map' at his disposal was Rosette's snoring, which was almost as endless as the corridor he was walking through. He followed the sound, which was like a disembodied, wordless rumble leading the way. Disturbingly enough, it seemed to suit Rosette.

Chrono had just walked through the 7th hallway when the snoring suddenly got louder, indicating to him that he was getting closer to his goal. He consequently quickened his pace, but as soon as the snoring raised an octave, it disappeared altogether. The abrupt silence caught him off-guard, and somewhere a group of sisters were sighing in relief. However, the ceased snoring baffled the demon boy as he started to reach his destination.

Immediate, unpleasant thoughts sprang to Chrono's mind, dominated by worries of harm to Rosette, which topped the list. He started to seriously reconsider his paranoid theory about hideous monsters infiltrating his contractor's room as he pounded the floor with his feet, trying to pick up the pace.

However, there was a problem with his attempts at heroics. His over-protectiveness shrouded his common sense (would the beasts really survive in Rosette's company?), so he wasn't thinking clearly when he burst into the blonde girl's room.

"Rosette!" he cried, almost tripping over himself in distress - then he looked up.

The sight he beheld would scar him (physically and psychologically) forever.

**

* * *

**

The sun shined brightly on the Los Angeles branch of the Magdalene Order. It was relatively tranquil, with no signs of ironic violence. Elder's explosions had halted, but there were still other sounds to take its place. Random birds whistled to the trees, while nuns gossipped in the courtyard. The wind blowing was light, a gentle presence in the Order as it caused tree branches to sway carelessly. The silence was truly beautiful, a creation of serenity and harmony among all living things.

"CHRONO!"

And with one word, the silence was broken, shattered, drawn and quartered.

"You sick, disgusting pervert!"

"I thought you were asleep, really!"

A flash of violet streamed out of the convent into the courtyard, and was quickly followed by a flash of blonde. When the zoom was activated, Chrono the retreating demon boy and Rosette the pursuing nun could be distinguished, although the latter was dressed in a less-than-flattering nightgown. However, the focus point would (or should) be the expression of pure vengeance (the Elder doesn't count).

Unfortunately for Chrono, he was the dartboard for Rosette's wrath. He tried to increase the pace of his running, but Rosette kept right on his tail. In fact, she seemed to be gaining on her prey, provoking a cry of despair from the demon boy.

"What did you think you were doing, barging into my room like that?" Rosette hissed through her teeth. "I was getting dressed!"

"Sister Kate wanted me to wake you!" Chrono gasped between breaths as he ran.

"Don't you know how to knock?" Rosette said as if it should've been the most obvious thing in the world. "I could have been naked, and - urgh! You're dead!"

"I-I thought you were in trouble," Chrono stammered, trying to defend himself. "Your snoring stopped while I was halfway to your room, so I -"

"'My snoring?'" Uh oh, Chrono touched the green wire instead of the red one. "What do you mean, 'my snoring'?"

"Oh, er, um," Chrono stammered. "Oh crap."

"'Oh crap' is right!" Rosette snarled as she was almost in reach of Chrono. "You'll suffer more than just my snoring when I'm done with you! Get back here!"

Chrono yelped suddenly when Rosette grabbed the end of his hair and pulled it back. However, she tugged just a teeny bit too hard and caused him to fall backwards - onto her. More yelps followed as demon collided with nun (holy hell!), as did grunts when they made abrupt contact with the ground.

Chrono was the first to recover, but when he did, he found his face wedged between Rosette's nightgown-covered breasts like salami between bread. Face flushing redder than his eyes, he immediately leapt off the unconscious exorcist's body - or so he thought. He began to rub his sore head, possibly to rid himself of his embarrassment, so he failed to realise that Rosette was very conscious, and very pissed. Her eyes were narrowed almost into her skull, and an aura more lethal than the fiercest of demons surrounded her. The knuckles of her clenched fists were turning white with rage, and had her hair been standing on end, she might have been perceived as turning into a Super Sister Rosette (DBZ reference).

However, even without a freaky superhuman transformation, she could still kick ass. It just so happened that the ass she wanted to kick was right in front of her too.

"Ourgh," Chrono groaned, sitting up awkwardly. Suddenly, he sensed the presence of someone with tremendous, perhaps unsurpassable power. His curiosity overwhelming his trepidation and he raised his head to see his infuriated contractor bearing down on him. "R-R-Rosette!"

"CHRONO!"

"Oh shit!"

**

* * *

**

Somewhere, in the city of Los Angeles, a deafening, feminine cry was followed by a crack, which was followed by a bloodcurdling, anguished scream.

**

* * *

**

**Lord Cynic: **"Okay, everyone, on the count of 3. 3… 2… 1… It sucks to be Chrono the Sinner! Heh. Thanks for participating."


	3. Faking sickies

**Lord Cynic: **"I'm pouring with ideas! I've actually got another one in my head, but I don't know whether or not it should join this collection of one-shots. It doesn't really suit the subject matter, unless I decided to change it (the subject) altogether. I think I'll keep it separate… or not. It could work.

Anyway, this is sorta… less violent than the first two. More fluff too, I suppose. But the cunning is definitely there. You'll just have to see for yourself."

**

* * *

**

**Lord Cynic:** "I don't own Chrono Crusade. I've never faked a sickie though… not since I started high school, at least. Meh."

**

* * *

**

_**Faking sickies**_

It wasn't unusual for Rosette to sleep in, any day of the week.

However, it was unusual for her to miss breakfast, since she was always the first to snag a tray (and trample any bodies along the way).

This baffled Chrono, who took it upon himself (to the relief of everyone else) to deliver food to her room. It was well into late morning, so it stunned the child-like demon that his contractor was still in bed. It also worried him, being the oh-so-concerned person he was (which was a flaw at times). Why would Rosette miss her favourite meal of the day? At times, he had to stop her causing injury to those ignorant enough to get in her way, so this didn't make sense. Something was definitely wrong.

When Chrono reached Rosette's room, he found the door slightly ajar. This confounded him further, but he decided to knock just in case. He still sported a limp arm from the last time he barged into her room unannounced (no idea how he was holding the tray), so he took extra caution from thereafter. He knocked again and waited, but all he heard was faint rustling, and... was it... coughing?

Finally, a weak voice travelled to his pointy ears. It sounded hoarse, and his heart beat slightly faster out of worry.

"C-Come in."

Chrono edged the door open with his head, but nearly dropped the tray when he discovered what (or who) was behind it.

"Rosette, you look horrible!"

Indeed she did. Her blonde hair was matted to her forehead, due to sweat that poured profusely down her face. Her normally bright, energetic blue eyes were almost as red as Chrono's, and they were drooping dangerously. The majority of her face was pale, but her cheeks were prominently flushed. However, her mouth showed the faintest sign of her regular, upbeat self by forming an exhausted (and slightly exasperated) smile.

"Thanks for the compliment," she said with as much sarcasm as she could muster. "Did you some here to make fun of my illness?"

"Oh, no, that's not what I meant," Chrono objected hurriedly. "You always look pretty... pretty energetic during the day," he corrected himself hastily. _Phew, that was close. But what's with that smile she's giving me?_

"You oughta be careful," Rosette warned him with a trace of amusement in her voice. "If you blush any harder, you'll look like me. Then you'd have to join me."

"H-Huh?" Chrono did indeed blush harder, much harder, and Rosette giggled at the flustered expression on the demon boy's face. The tray in his hand nearly tipped over in his embarrassment, and that's when he finally remembered his original reason for checking up on her. "Oh, um, I brought you some breakfast. I thought you'd be hungry."

Such obvious statements ought to be punished by wrath of Rosette. Nonetheless...

"Oh, did you?" the blonde exorcist's heavy eyes gazed fondly at the food on the tray. "That's so sweet."

"Y-You're welcome," Chrono stammered, setting the tray down on a table beside Rosette's bed. "Will you be okay to eat this? Will you need help?"

"I'm not a child, you know," Rosette said good-naturedly, sitting up in her bed. She didn't notice a fleeting downcast expression in Chrono's eyes, but caught the doubtful look he gave her, and laughed hoarsely. "Come on, don't look so tense. If you're so unconvinced... do you mind getting me another blanket? I'm a little cold."

"Of course!" Chrono complied immediately, and he pelted out the door as fast as his legs would carry him.

Rosette watched the last of Chrono's (unruly) violet hair disappear from sight. As soon as she was convinced that he was gone, her formerly tired smile broke into an evil grin. The grin was also directed at her food, which she attacked with ravenous abandon.

**

* * *

**

Chrono's fourth journey to the 'ailing' Rosette was starting to make him exhausted. After she'd requested a blanket, she had pined for hot chocolate, then some rolls. Now he carried a pile of fresh clothes after accepting to do her laundry (very reluctantly). Poor, naive Chrono had no idea that Rosette was playing him for a sentimental sucker. However, sisters Anna, Mary and Claire knew off the bat about the blonde's deception skills. Strange how they'd known her for less time than Chrono, but seemed to know more her cunning than he did.

That said, they enjoyed Chrono wearing out his legs to go back and forth, if only to see how much longer Rosette could perform a convincing act. Not to say they were the only ones to know, of course. That was one thing that sucked about being in a place populated mainly by women - being one of the only males, Chrono had no idea what everyone else knew. It was like he was being exempt from a secret club. If only he knew what went on behind the scenes of those psychotic girls...

His pace faltered slightly as he shuddered, and a habit fell from his pile. However, he hadn't noticed, and began to ascend the stairs again - until he tripped over the stray item of clothing.

"Whoa - oof!"

His foot snagged on the habit, and his head made less-than-pleasant contact with a stone step. The result was an out cold demon and a scattered pile of clothes. Nuns started to gather around him, sighing sympathetically but not doing anything to help him. Such irony is laughable, especially when -

"Oh, Chrono! Where are you? I'm getting cold again!"

The singsong voice of a certain blonde sister sent the others fleeing in totally the opposite direction. The voice was soon followed by soft footsteps as Rosette descended towards the scene of the accident. Her formerly merry smile turned into an irritable scowl as she came to a halt before the fallen Chrono.

"Chrono, what are you doing? I've been freezing in this thing for more than an hour, and you're sleeping on the job!" was her inconsiderate response to the scene she beheld.

An offended and confused muffle was her reply.

"Rosette? What are you doing up? I thought you were sick."

Rosette blanched; she didn't actually think Chrono could regain consciousness so quickly. She laughed nervously and picked up the clothes from the ground as her partner picked himself up painfully.

"Who says I'm not?" the blonde girl asked, coughing slightly to emphasise her little white lie. "I can't possibly go out in this state. I'm just so weak right now."

"Are you sure about that?" Chrono grumbled, but he was caught by Rosette's puppy dog expression.

"Oh, Chrono," she cooed, making the demon sweatdrop, "don't you believe me? Are you calling sweet little me a liar?"

"N-No! Not really," the boy answered hastily, getting to his feet and waving his hands in defence. "I just want to make sure."

"Well," Rosette said slowly, sniffling, "if you want to make sure, I do have something I want from you."

"W... What is it?" Chrono asked apprehensively, dreading the worst.

"I need something to keep me warm," Rosette replied, smiling as weakly as she could. However, it widened a little at Chrono's baffled expression.

"What do you mean?" he asked, astounded. "I got another blanket for you, and you've got your habit rig -"

He stopped abruptly, earning himself an agitated look from the other party.

"Do not finish that sentence," Rosette warned, then her expression softened playfully. "Thank you for those, but there's something else I want. Something soft to hold and keep me warm."

"Um..." Chrono blanched slightly. "You need toys to keep you warm?"

"No, you baka," Rosette said, tapping Chrono on the head. "I guess I should rephrase it: Someone soft to hold and keep me warm."

Chrono blanched again, but this time a bright red hue in his cheeks joined his stunned-stupid expression. He gawked wordlessly at Rosette, who smiled flippantly while fitting herself into her habit. He couldn't even utter a response before she grabbed his wrist and dragged him to her room.

_If only people knew what we were up to, _he thought with a plummeting stomach.

Unfortunately for him, a trio of sisters - a brunette, a redhead and a blonde - were watching from behind a corner. They waited until the demon-contractor pair disappeared up the stairs, then grinned evilly. This would be the easiest money they ever earned from the other sisters. Even if it was through unsavoury and totally unholy methods...

**_THE END_**

_

* * *

_

**Lord Cynic: **"Eh, I couldn't resist. I guess my friend's right, I am corrupted... not that it's a bad thing... at least in my mind. Er... comments?"


	4. One reason to hate the rain

**Lord Cynic: **"I'd best get a story in while the school holidays last. Blah… call it unhealthy, but 4 days without the Internet was horrible. But during that time, I checked out something called Angelic Layer. I think I found another obsession… and maybe some fanfic inspiration. Everyone seems fixed on Ohjiro, though. (shrugs) Oh well.

Anyways, this was written during one of my more… weirder moods. Don't judge the writer by the story, though. I am not a chikan! I'm wiggly Icchan! Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle... okay, I'll stop now."

**

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**

**Lord Cynic: **"I don't own Chrono Crusade. Blah."

**

* * *

**

_**One reason to hate rain**_

One of the worst things about working in the rain is the dreaded combination of the earth and hydrogen oxide. Those two natural elements, when fused together by fate (or torrid weather conditions), create something so horrible, so vile, that nothing can escape its wrath. If it ensnared anything, it would drag it down and suffocate its prey mercilessly. It was a spiteful force; one that many have encountered but none have succeeded to escape from without receiving punishment. It was truly powerful, and unquestionable unstoppable while in its prime.

And it would take an eternity for Sister Rosette Christopher and her assistant Chrono to wash off that mud, after being caked in it after their latest mission. However, first another eternity would have to transpire before the demon could regain his sense of hearing, after an anguished outburst from the blonde exorcist upon their re-entry into their (miraculously unscathed) vehicle.

* * *

"Yuk!" This icky mud's all your fault, Chrono!" Rosette whined pitifully as she pulled the Ford up inside the Magdalene Order. Chrono gaped at her incredulously. 

"What? You're the one who tripped, and dragged me in!" he protested. "You ruined my coat. It won't be the same for weeks!"

He tugged vainly at the violated piece of red clothing. However, the irate blonde next to him demanded immediate attention, and he gulped when he noticed her venomous glare.

"Your coat is not a living creature!" she hissed, scowling. "Unlike me, however! You could've been a gentleman and caught me before I fell! It's common sense, not to mention polite, to protect a lady at all times against anything and everything, you know."

"I saw no lady," Chrono muttered through clenched teeth and lowered eyes. "All I saw was a hideous, bad-tempered and bloodthirsty monster... and the demon... OWW!"

"What was that?" Rosette growled as she subjected Chrono to a devastating noogie attack.

"Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww!" the childlike demon yelped. Suddenly, he felt the relief from the pressure, although he kept his eyes closed. Soon, he heard the sharp slam of the driver's door and the crunch of boots on gravel, which meant that Rosette was stomping back into the convent. Sighing silently, he exited the car through his side and trudged in the opposite direction, towards the Elder's hut. "At least I can attempt to clean myself off. I'm still getting soaked in this rain, though. Apple sau... urk!"

"Where do you think you're going?" Rosette asked as she dragged her assistant by the ear, across the courtyard. "For all I know, the Elder's shower water might be poisoned."

_That could explain his eccentric yet perverted mind_, Chrono contemplated exasperatedly. Suddenly, the implication of Rosette's gesture struck him like one of her uppercuts. "Wait, Rosette, where are you taking me?"

Rosette glanced back at him, half-amused, half-impatient, but continued her stride.

"Inside the convent," she replied matter-of-factly. "Is that a problem?"

"Well, no," Chrono mumbled absent-mindedly. He discovered what he'd said when his contractor flashed him a malevolent smirk, and was instantly mortified. "I... I mean of course it is! What if anyone caught us?" He paled at the thought. "What if Sister Kate caught us? I may be the killer of 100 demons, but she'll be the one to kill me!"

"If I've told you once, I've told you 1000 times," Rosette chided her wimpy companion, "stop being such a wet blanket!"

Another flash of a sinister smirk, another blanch and a dive by Chrono's stomach almost literally to Hell.

"Besides, it might be fun to ride that old woman's goat," Rosette added with a malicious laugh.

_She's as awful as Aion after a heavy binge session_, Chrono thought with heavy dread.

Nonetheless, he allowed Rosette to guide him inside the building by force. Despite his apprehension and the risk of being skinned to the tips of his pointy ears by a furious Sister Kate, he relished Rosette's warm but assertive contact.

At least it was better than the atrocious muck coating him from head to toe.

* * *

It was the same mud smothering him, which dripped on the floor of Rosette's room as he sat on his bed. One would imagine that the mud would've dried up by now and turned him into a living sculpture by now, right? Wrong! As a result, Chrono was unconsciously making a mess that would give Sister Kate several stomach cramps. However, with Rosette occupying the showers and Chrono locked in heavy contemplation, the stomach-churning puddle of filth remained neglected. 

Such was the demon's preoccupation, though, that he was unaware of the ceased running of water in Rosette's bathroom, or the slow turning of the door handle. The blonde, towel-clad girl noticed his stupor as soon as she could see the hole he was burning into the floor with his gaze, and yet another smug grin spread across her face. _Time to have some fun..._

Chrono was miles away in thought, so he didn't notice sudden sagging on the bed. He did, however, feel the pressure of something soft against his back. At first, he passed it off as a pillow, but for some reason it seemed more... solid than that. It's... moving, too. Wait, moving? What the heck is that? It better not be a demon, although Chrono doubted that it would be able to trespass without being blown apart by Rosette. Where was she, anyway? He couldn't hear any running water, but she usually doesn't take as long to get a towel around her. Ack, what was he thinking? Oh no, whatever it was, was pressing further into his back. Although, it was really soft, and seemed... to be like round shapes. But there was nothing like that in the room. Rosette wasn't the type to keep toys in there, no way. At least, as far as he knew. So what could it be?

"Oh, Chrono..."

Holy crap! What the hell did she think she was doing? But, maybe, for once, he wouldn't get into trouble for it. Yeah, that's right. For once, he couldn't get in trouble for seeming like a pervert. Wait, no, he wasn't a pervert, period! But... they were so soft... NO!

With a yelp, Chrono leapt off the bed and zipped inside the bathroom, leaving Rosette to fall forward in shock. However, the sneer didn't leave her face. On the contrary, it was much wider than before, with a trace or two of complacency. She propped herself up on her elbows and stared at the bathroom door. _Oh, yes, that was definitely fun. But I'm not finished yet...

* * *

_

Chrono let the clean water wash over him, cleansing his body. He cringed slightly as the hot water occasionally brushed his broken horns, but he ignored it for the most part. If he could handle almost getting torn apart by his fellow kinsmen in battle, he could tolerate the elements. Most importantly of all, he was grateful for anything that took his mind off what just happened in Rosette's room. He still couldn't believe what she was doing...

_But you don't deny you enjoy it, do you?_

Even if he was alone in the shower, he tried to hide the intense blush rushing to his cheeks. He didn't know if that was his mind or the mind of his more fully developed demon form, but it was uncalled for, especially considering where he was. But for the life of him, he didn't know how or why it rose to his thoughts. Maybe he was going crazy or delirious, it could happen, especially after being in Rosette's company for so long. That girl would tire anyone out, regardless of their stamina. However, only he could tolerate it day in, day out. But of course, that was because she was his contractor.

_Are you sure that's all?_

Chrono had to resist the urge to punch himself for denying what was obvious. And yet, he'd never let it slip. What would happen afterwards? Sure, their contract was near unbreakable, but so would be the consequent rift. Besides, he couldn't let himself delve back into the misery that came after Magdalene's death. Even though Rosette convinced him to live for the future, he couldn't deny the past and what it brought and cost him.

_But do you regret meeting Rosette?_

Now this he could answer without hesitation. The water running off his body was symbolic of how Rosette cleansed his soul. She taught him how much there was in the world to live for, and how not to dwell in misery like a pathetic loser. She was nowhere near as graceful as Magdalene, and she snored like a rhinoceros. Still, she was the most energetic person he'd ever seen, although ironically so. But she refused to let him dwell on the consequences of their contract, and for the most part, he was successful in pushing those thoughts aside. For that, he was eternally grateful. If only he could find a way to repay her... except for the unforgivable fact that time cannot be returned...

Sighing deeply, he turned off the taps and draped himself in a towel. However, there was too much water in his eyes for him to open them confidently. As a result, he stumbled around aimlessly, blinking the shower water out of his eyes. Thankfully, though, he was able to avoid crashing into anything. At least his demon senses were keeping him from self-inflicted physical harm.

When Rosette crept into the bathroom, however, even Chrono's heightened senses couldn't save him from making a big mistake. Thinking that the door was still closed, he went to grasp the door handle. The only problem was, it was one of Rosette's... ahem...

"YIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAA!"

On the flip side, Chrono didn't have to suffer Sister Kate's wrath. On the flop side, that was only because he had to suffer Rosette's.

**_THE END_**


End file.
